Calvin at Camp: Little Camp of Horrors
by Blue Paratroopa
Summary: In a parody of the musical Little Shop of Horrors, Eddy finds a mysterious plant and plans to exploit it...in song! Unfortunatly, he is unaware of its' origins.
1. Peach Creek

Well, here's my Little Shop parody. This won't directly follow the movie/show. I think I really strayed from the plot of this one, more than others (and it's hard to surpass the Calvin King on that one). Anyway, half the songs are cut. Please don't hurt me.

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The sun rose on the Cul-De-Sac, as the kids got ready to go to camp. Eddy stepped out of his house and looked around. "Here it is...Preach Creek. What a stupid life."

Edd was waiting for him. "How so, Eddy? We have a nice home here."

"Yeah, but the city would be better! I never have a scam! Look around you!"

(Sung to the tune of "Skid Row")

Eddy: **_Suburbs  
Where the kids are cheap, you're in  
Suburbs  
Where you'll fall asleep, you're in  
Suburbs  
Where everyone is a geek  
You're in Peach Creek _**

Yes, you go...

Kids: **_Suburbs_**  
Edd: **_Where you mow your lawn, here in_**  
Kids: **_Suburbs_**  
Edd: **_Parents always gone, here in_**  
Kids: **_Suburbs_**  
Eddy: **_Where Ed's basement and all ideas reek_**

Kids: **_Here in Peach Creek_**

Eddy: **_City you're talented and make it there_**

_**City is the place that has some flare  
Eating all your lunches at the hot-dog carts  
Where I'd take people's money and then break their hearts (ha!) **_

And city's are cool places, just like New York

Kevin: **_Dreaming about that stuff makes you a dork!_**  
Eddy: **_And guys like Kevin are booted off the street_**

**_Landing on his head, instead of on his feet  
_**(**_If only_**)

Kids: **_Suburbs_**  
Johnny: **_Where the Kankers lurk_**  
Kids: **_Suburbs_**  
Eddy: **_Where your friend's a jerk_**  
Kids: **_Suburbs_**  
Eddy: **_And if not, they're dumb or they're weak_**  
Kids: **_You're in Peach Creek_**

Eddy: **_Poor, all my life I've always been poor. _**

_**I keep wondering what I'm forAnd I tell me, "Gee, I'm not sure."  
(Think of scams, guys!)  
Freaks! I started life with a brother  
Who taught me rules of the street, here in Peach  
Creek! The kids were scared, handed over  
Dollars, cents and some stuff  
It never seemed like it was enough  
'Cause it's not  
When you're in**_

Kids:**_ Suburbs_**  
Eddy: **_That's your home address, just the_**  
Kids: **_Suburbs_**  
Eddy: **_Where your life's a mess, just the_**  
Kids: **_Suburbs_**  
Eddy: **_Where Jimmy's diapers spring leaks_**

(Jimmy: HEY!)  
Kids: **_Here in Peach Creek_**

Eddy: **_Someone show me a way to get outta here  
'Cause I constantly pray I'll get outta here  
Please won't somebody say I'll get outta here  
Someone gimmie my shot, or I'll rot here! _**

Kids:**_ Suburbs _**  
Eddy:**_ Show me how and I will, I'll get outta here_**  
Kids: **_Suburbs_**  
Eddy: **_I'll start climbin' up hill and get outta here_**  
Kids: **_Suburbs_**  
Eddy: **_Someone tell me I still could get outta here_**

**_Someone tell lady luck that I'm stuck here! _**  
Kids: **_Suburbs_**

Eddy: **_Gee it sure would be swell to get outta here. _**

_**Bid the gutter farewell and get outta here.  
I'd move heaven and hell to get outta Peach  
I'd do I don't know what to get outta Peach  
But a hell of a lot to get outta Peach  
People tell me there's not a way outta Peach  
But believe me I gotta get outta Peach  
Creek!**_

Edd stared at him. "What a ridiculous song! Eddy, our life is a decent one and you know it! Why, we'll be off to camp in but a moment, and I insist you say nothing about your desires to be elsewhere with everyone else! You'll turn it into a little camp of horrors!"

"Nice idea. Nah, I'll keep it to myself. But I have a feeling I'll think of a good scam today, I just know it!"


	2. Larry's Plant

Meanwhile, in Darkland, Larry Koopa, one of Bowser's kids, sat in is room. He was messing around with an odd plant when his brothers, Iggy and Lemmy walked in.

"What are you doing, Larry?" asked Lemmy.

"Yeah, what's with the plant?" asked Iggy.

"You know I had Grassland for a while...until those stupid Mario brothers took it," explained Larry. "Lately, I've been playing around with Piranha Plants, seeing what I get. Besides, take a look out there..."

Iggy and Lemmy looked out a window to see one of Bowser's henchmen, Birdo, shooting eggs at little Shyguys. "That's just..."

"...Birdo!"

"She's hot!" gasped Larry. "HOT! On fire! Hot hot hot! Sizzlin'! Woop woop! Move over, Fryguy!"

"We get it."

Larry went back to work. "I'm gonna grow her the BEST...PLANT...EVER!"

Iggy and Lemmy took this chance to bug their brother: **_Larry's shop_**

_**Larry's shop of horrors**_

_**Larry's shop**_

_**Larry's shop of terrors**..._

"Oh, you're so witty!" said Larry sarcastically. "A little Menkan and Ashman pair...GET OUT!"

"Well, good luck!"called Iggy as they ran out the door.

"Yeah," said Lemmy, "I hope you're not a total failure!"

"I said get out!" Larry slammed the door behind them and turned back to his specimen. "Okay, little plant, let's see if we can get you to grow...

(Sung to the tune of "Grow For Me")

Larry: **_I've given you mushrooms  
I've given you shells  
You've given me nothing  
But a life of hell  
I'm shedding my scales  
Just help me, you see  
Oh, please, grow for me! _**

I've given you magic  
Came straight from my wand  
I've even talked to you  
But it's hard to bond  
I'll give you a frog suit  
That won't help, but please  
Yes, please grow for me

I've given you water from Sea Side  
To get you to thrive  
I give you stuff straight from Delfino  
You're barely aliveI've given rare exotic items  
That I've had to steal

_**I've given you 1-ups  
And mineral supplements  
Yet nothing gives you appeal! **_

I've given you everything  
From my little claws  
But it just all fails  
And what is the cause?

_**I'll give some more drops  
If that'll appease  
Now please...**_

_**Oh, oh, please...**_

_**Grow for me!**_

Suddenly, the plant began to grow. Larry waited anxiously as it got a tiny bit bigger. Finally it stopped, and Larry found himself looking at a relatively small but nice plant. "I did it! Yes! I did it!"

The plant suddenly sprouted little needles, all popping out in a cartoonlike fasion. "You're a CACTUS! Who wants that!" Larry angrily threw it down a warp pipe to the real world.

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Meanwhile, at camp, the plant popped out of a Mario book and rested on the floor. Edd and Ed were the first to find it laying there. "Look, Double D! A green thing!"

"Gracious, Ed...I'm not sure where this little being came from...who would mistreat such a nice little plant? Well, we'll have to take care of it, won't we?"

"Let's call it Pokey!"

"Alright...I already have a cactus named Jim, after all. I'm sure they'll be fine together. Now, let's get this some water!"

_**We'll give you some plant food  
All we can find  
Soon you'll be blooming  
But all in good time**_

_**So here is our new plant  
Our little Pokey  
So please**_

_**Grow for me!**_

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When I was first thinking of the story, I actaully wanted it to revolve almost entirly around the Koopas, with the campers as a subplot. Of course, that wouldn't work so it never happened.


	3. Growing

It was the next day at Bowser's Castle. Wario and Waluigi snuck through the many bends and tunnels of the fortress, trying to nab various items and weapons.

(Sung to the tune of "We're Closed For Renovation")

Wario: **_We're gonna rule the nation  
And it won't be a hassle  
We're gonna steal the answer:  
Weapons from Bowser's Castle  
The bombs will soon be stationed  
Every here, there, which and way  
Yes, we're gonna rule the nation  
Today_**

Waluigi: **_The others are all weaklings  
We'll soon have all the power  
The kingdom will be having  
A fire and Thwomp shower  
We'll collect all the debris  
Throw it in the sky and then  
There'll be a fall of terror  
Again_**

"Okay," said Wario, "here's a-the plan! We take this a-stuff and use it to a-take over the world!"

"Yeah," whined Waluigi, "we just a-said that in a-song!"

"Oh."

A dark figure stepped out of the darkness. Wario held a torch up to reveal a purple alien with long pointy ears. "Please hold your fire," he said. Wario and Waluigi screamed and quickly fired a stream of Bullet Bills at him. The alien held up his hand, and the bullets fell to the ground instantly, as if some powerful force had stopped them. "My name is Tatanga the alien. I appeared in 'Super Mario Land' and 'Super Mario Land 2.'"

"Oh, yeah," Wario remembered, "you a-worked for me! You were-a the weakling whose-a ship was a-beaten when Mario a-jumped on it!"

"Yes, I'm afraid that I was rather weak. I couldn't help overhearing your song. Might I join in on your quest for victory? We will be fondly remembered again by video game fans as the villains we truly are. I even brought along a weapon of mass destruction..." Tatanga held up a potion. "This outer space device here is amazing. If one were to sprinkle it on the most harmless living thing, it can turn into a terrifying creature."

"Yeah, okay. We'll a-use that!"

"I realize we are not...tuneful...but I suggest we finish that song."

All Three: **_We're gonna rule the nation  
Our weapon's gonna bang ya_**

Wario: **_Not only is there us two_**

Waluigi: **_But we're joined by Tatanga_**

All Three: **_And we will not stop singing  
Until it's safe to say_**

Tatanga: **_We'll easily kill Mario_**  
Wario: **_He'll get a death by Wario_**  
Waluigi: **_He'll get hit by a Car-i-o_**  
Wario: **_Or in the sky, so star-i-o_**  
Tatanga:**_ Or to the underground so low_**  
All Three: **_So many ways for him to go_**

_**We're gonna rule the nation...  
Today!**_

On the final line of the song, several statues of Bowser that filled the room lit up and rotated around, so they were all facing the three villains. A stream of fire came from all of their mouths and hit the trio straight on. With a screech, the three intruders were launched out of the castle into the distance. Bowser watched them from his throne room. "Idiots."

As Tatanga sailed through the sky, he lost his grip on the dangerous potion he held. It slipped from his hand and fell down a warp pipe.

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In the real world, Eddy sat reading a Mario book when the potion blew out of it, hitting him in the face (the kids had opened a warp pipe to the Mushroom Kingdom through the books). "OW! This is why I read less! What is this thing anyway?"

Eddy took the potion and poured it on Pokey, who rested on a table by him. No one was around to see him do it. "Well, I don't need this junk. Maybe that stupid cactus Double D's been yapping about does."

Eddy noticed everyone else going to the pool, so he walked out of the room. If he had stuck around a little bit longer and he would have see the plant getting bigger and needles getting sharper, and what appeared to be a little mouth developing...

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When everyone got back from the pool, they found an odd sight awaiting them: Pokey was a little bigger and a little stranger.

"Like, was that your plant from this morning, Double D?" asked Nazz.

"Yes," Edd said in awe, "but I had no idea it would grow this fast...it doesn't look like any cactus I've ever seen..."

"One of nature's miracles," smiled Linus.

An idea struck Eddy. He quickly grabbed Ed, Edd, and Pokey and dashed into the closet, locking the door behind him.

"What is the meaning of this?" gasped Edd.

"That thing could make me some serious cash," explained Eddy with an evil smile. "I didn't think this thing would amount to anything, but we're looking at the perfect scam! We'll charge kids to see...what's his name...Pokey!

Edd glared angrily at him. "You will not exploit that poor thing!"

"Sorry, but I've had this lucky opportunity coming for a while now! I mean..."

Eddy:**_ One day I scrounged for bucks  
Always thinking that I was out of luck  
Then when I thought I was really stuck  
Stand aside and watch_**

_**My future go**_

_**Explosion! Runs amuck  
Don't it go to show ya never know?**_

A few minutes later, a typical scam booth was set up, charging kids to look at Pokey.

Calvin and Hobbes: **_Eddy was in a funk  
He was one to pity  
Whod'a thunk he'd have a scam so witty?  
Just a punk, he was a forgotten  
So-and-so  
When his scams were just itty-bitty  
Don't it go to show ya never know?_**

Jason and Marcus: **_All the world used to slap him  
Biff-wham-pow! Now they feel like crap 'n  
They clamor to hear his remarks  
That he will say  
All the world used to hate him  
Now they're startin' t'appreciate him  
All because of that strange little plant  
That came one day_**

_Peanuts _Kids: **_Observe him! Here's a chap_**

**_Everything is landing in his lap_**  
Eddy: **_I just clapped my hand and in a snap_**

**_Something from heaven blessed my little scam  
_**Edd (sarcastically): Zam. Kazap.  
Ed: **_Don't it go to show ya never know?_**  
Kids: **_One day you're slinging hash_**

**_Feeling so rejected  
Lightning flash, you get resurrected  
Make a splash- now you rate the big  
Bravissimo  
And with a thundercrash-  
Crash kerplunk, bam kerboom  
Zang kazunk, zam kazoom  
Zowee powee holy cow he  
Ordered up a rainbow to go  
Wow! Pow! Lookout below!  
Don't it go to show ya never know?_**

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I'm not very happy with the "Ya Never Know" song. It's too close to the original, although I think Edd's sarcasm is a nice touch. This is probably one of my weaker efforts, although better than the _Toy Story_ one, which was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy too close to the original script. That won't stop me from doing a _Brave Little Toaster_ story, though.  
I wanted Bowser to sing a parody of "Dentist," but never wrote one. It would have absolutly nothing to do with the plot.

In case anyone is wondering what the heck is up with the Mario books, read the chapter "Calvin Clones" of the main Calvin at Camp story.


	4. Eddy and Fox

It was a few days later. Everyday, Pokey was getting a little bigger and a little weirder. He still had needles, but he barely resembled a cactus. The kids, meanwhile, just kept paying to see him, as he was now kept in a special stall in one of the locker rooms.

It was today that Edd managed to get to Eddy to complain to him. "I am outraged at what you've done to poor Pokey!" raged Edd. "Keeping him here in a dark locker room that was once infested by the Kankers themselves!"

(See "The Calvin King" for more information on the Kankers exploits in the locker room)

"Yeah, yeah," Eddy said, almost pretending Edd wasn't there. "He's making me cash isn't he? Don't it go to show ya never know!"

"We sang that days ago! Now give me my cactus!"

"Get a life, sockhead. I'm finally famous enough to update my hideout from a broken-down men's room into a locker room! Now, if you're not paying, then leave!"

Ed walked in and threw Edd out with ease. "Born free!"

Eddy relaxed and sat down on a bench, joined by Ed. "Thanks, lumpy. He's been doing that for a while now, the freak. This thing is the greatest plant I've ever seen! How do I exploit it more?"

Jason instantly burst out of a locker behind Eddy. "Did I hear that you wanted to do some exploiting?"

Eddy looked up. "Yeah...how'd you get in there?

"Tunnel system me and Marcus rigged up. He's working on a shortcut to the pool with Calvin and Hobbes."

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Marcus, Calvin and Hobbes, meanwhile, were tunneling underground.

"I think the pool's here," said Marcus.

Calvin put down his shovel. "We're not going to China?"

"That sounds more fun than the pool," agreed Hobbes.

"Tunneling to China isn't possible, you realize," replied Marcus. "Besides, the pool is right over out heads."

Calvin got an idea. "You know what would be cool? If this was really China we're under."

A loud rumbling began as the wall they were digging through began to crack. "I think we've tunneled a bit too close," realized Marcus.

A hole opened up and a waterfall of the pool blasted out on the guys, washing them away. "Wow, China's sure wet!"

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Back in the locker room, Eddy was making a deal. "See, here's the thing...I want to make my plant more famous, and you're gonna help me do it!"

(Sung to the tune of "Mushnik & Son")

**_How would you like to be my friend?  
_**(Jason: I'm already...)

_**How would you like to be my advertizing agent guy?  
(I thought he was just okay before,  
And I want more cash in the drawer  
I've got no choice**_

_**I'm still too poor)  
Say yes**_

Jason: **_Well, sure!_**

Both: **_Eddy and Fox sounds great_**

**_Three words with the ring of fate_**  
Eddy: **_So say you'll incorporate with me_**

_**A scammer's dream come true  
Eddy and his partner, you-  
What business we'll do for this Pokey**_

Both: **_Like Kermit the Frog and Fozzie_**

_**Like the stooges, Moe, Larry  
Like this whole thing is a blur**_

Jason: **_In trouble sickness and in health_**  
Eddy: **_We'll share the plant and share the wealth_**

**_You call me Eddy_**  
Jason: **_Call me Fox_**  
Both: **_Eddy & Fox, won't end_**

**_Both in business and friends  
Consider the matter closed in a box_**

_**Now to the world let's stick  
Our screechy and smarty shtick**_

Jason: **_Through thin and through thick_**  
Eddy: **_Through sloppy and slick_**  
**_Through kiss and through kick_**

Jason: Kissing makes me sick.  
Both: **_Eddy and Fox!_**

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The next morning, a TV mysteriously showed up in the main room. The kids turned it on to reveal Eddy dancing around in a plant suit. "Hey! Come see Pokey! A strange and unusual plant! Getting more strange and unusual everyday! Come on! COME ON! Please! I'm in a freaking plant suit, already! Jason, this was your idea!"

Jason appeared on-screen next to Eddy. "Yes, but it sure gets their attention."

"Remember, this is live! So if you want to be on TV, come see Pokey!"

Instantly, Sally (Charlie Brown's sister) ran in. "Look at me! I'm on TV! Hello, Linus! Isn't this so impressive? If I'm asking you out on national TV, the world will hate you if you don't say yes!"

"This is only being broadcasted to the main room," admitted Jason.

"Yeah," added Eddy,"and you've gotta pay to get in here!"

Sally paid Eddy and noticed Pokey. "Wow, that thing IS weird!"

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Hoo boy. The "Mushnik and Son" version I wrote makes me cringe. On the other hand, I loved writing "Rule the Nation."

Eddy dancing around in a plant suit is very similar to the scene in the Muppet Movie parody where he does a mushroom commercial. I'm pretty sure I started this before I did the Muppet Movie, so this could actually be a refrence to the real film where Doc Hopper dons a frog costume and advertizes frog legs. Who knew?


	5. Feed Me!

"Spaceman Spiff finds himself stranded on a distant planet," narrated Calvin as he snuck through camp, "with no way of getting home! What? It's a hostile lump creature!"

Ed walked over to Calvin. "CALVIN! My friend! Give me a hug!"

Calvin dove under Ed's legs, tripping him up. He slid into the locker room and wandered through the dim lighting. "Spiff enters an abandoned cave, wondering what may be in it. Suddenly, the planet fights back! A spiky horrible creature appears, ready to do Spiff in!"

Calvin was fighting with Pokey when Eddy burst in. "Hey! Get away from the plant unless you want to pay! Get rid of him, Ed!"

Ed started for Calvin again. "CALVIN! My friend! Give me a hug!" Ed didn't have the best memory in the world. Naturally, Calvin dove under Ed once more and got away.

Calvin found Hobbes in the main room. "I tell you, Hobbes, that plant is going to Eddy's head."

"Yes, but you know how his scams work out. Any minute now, it's going to blow up in his face."

(Sung to the tune of "The Meek Shall Inherit")

Calvin and Hobbes: **_I bet that creep's gonna get it  
All he does is scam and lie  
This plant, he's gonna regret it  
He'll be so sad, that he'll cry  
They say the meek shall inherit  
It's all reversed for this guy  
You know the creep is gonna get what's coming to him  
By and by!_**

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Eddy sat in a locker in the locker room, counting his money. Jason knocked on the locker. "Eddy? Are you in there? I've come to collect the money you owe me."

Eddy stood up. "Yeah, about that. See, Pokey was doing well before you and I probably would have figured out the whole TV thing even without your help, so...I'm not paying you a thing."

"What!" exclaimed Jason. "That's immoral!"

"Hey, you do the same thing sometimes," reasoned Eddy.

"Yeah, but then it's not ME getting ripped off!"

Eddy started to close the locker. "Get out before I send Ed on you!" Suddenly, they both heard a thud. Pokey had drooped lifelessly to the floor. Eddy's eyes went wide.

"Good thing I never invested stock on that plant," said Jason after a few seconds of silence. "Looks like this is going belly-up. I'm out of here."

Calmly, Jason strolled away. Eddy stared in anguish at his plant. He heard Ed shout "JASON! My friend! Give me a hug!" followed by a distant thump, but none of that registered. All that mattered was that the cash cow was wilted.

Eddy: So this is how it ends, huh? I didn't screw it up myself, its' life just ran out. It was good while it lasted...well, at least I'll have jawbreaker money.

"Feed...me," said a small voice.

Eddy looked around. "Huh?"

"Feed me!" boomed the voice again, no longer small. It was Pokey!

"Pokey!" Eddy cried in amazement. "You're alive! You opened your trap! You can talk!"

"That's obvious, ain't it?" said the plant, annoyed. "FEED ME NOW!"

Eddy looked around, slightly embarrassed. "Uh, you've never needed food before. Want some water or something?"

"Water? Don't make this plant laugh, boy! Must be blood."

"Blood?" repeated Eddy.

"Must be fresh!" smiled the plant.

"Even better..." Eddy said nervously, not wanting to make the plant mad.

Pokey: **_Feed me! _**

Eddy: Can't you diet or something?

Pokey: **_Feed me! _**

Eddy: This isn't good...

Pokey: **_Feed me!_**

_**Feed me, Eddy**_

_**Feed me all night long**_

_**That's right, boy!**_

_**You can do it**_

_**Feed me, Eddy**_

_**Feed me all night long**_

_**'Cause if you feed me, Eddy**_

_**I can grow up big and strong**_

"So it's gotta be blood," confirmed Eddy, trying to work his way out of this. "Would you settle for ketchup? Hot sauce? Something red? I mean, what do you want me to do, kill people?"

Pokey shrugged his leaves innocently. "Hey, whatever's convenient for you. I'll make it worth your while."

"How?"

"The cash has been flowing in lately! And why? The kids are coming! They wanna see how much I've changed!" He smiled. "The more I eat, the more I grow."

"You're a plant!" exclaimed Eddy. "You're not alive!"

"PLANTS ARE TOO ALIVE!" roared Pokey. He turned away, deeply offended. "Maybe I shoulda stuck with the one with a stupid hat. At least he knew a thing about us."

"Okay, okay," groaned Eddy, "you made your freaky plant point!"

"If I can walk, and I can talk," continued Pokey, "who says I can't do anything I want?"

"Like what?"

"Like deliver, pal!" said Pokey.

_**Would you like a great paradise**_

_**Or at least a decent place that's nice**_

_**It's easy if you take my advice**_

_**Then you'll git it**_

_**Would you like a jawbreaker mine**_

_**How about more money all of the time?**_

_**I'm the plant who can do it real fine**_

_**You gonna git it**_

_**I'm your genie, I'm your friend**_

_**I'm your willing slave**_

_**Take a chance, just feed me and **_

_**You know the kinda eats,**_

_**The kinda red hot treats **_

_**The kinda sticky licky sweets **_

_**I crave**_

Eddy: Gross.

Pokey: **_Come on, Eddy, don't be a putz_**

_**Trust me and your life will surely rival King Tut's**_

_**Show a little backbone, work up the guts**_

_**And you'll git it**_

_**If you wanna be profound**_

_**And you really gotta justify**_

_**Take a breath and look around**_

_**A lot of folks deserve to die**_

"What!" cried Eddy, cutting him off. "Even I don't think anyone deserves to die!"

Pokey grinned. "Oh, really? Follow the bouncing plant." Using his vines, he pulled himself over to the doorway looking out to the hall. Eddy saw Kevin and Nazz talking...and laughing.

"Ooh," winced Pokey. "Look at him. Look at her. Looks like a bit of summer romance, doesn't it?" The plant lowered its' voice. "He's a stud..."

Eddy heated up. Anger swelled. He did NOT like Kevin. Suddenly, he smiled. Pokey may be right!

Eddy and Pokey:**_ If you want a rationale_**

_**It isn't very hard to see**_

_**Stop and think it over, pal**_

_**The guy sure looks like plant food to me**_

_**The guy sure looks like plant food to me**_

_**The guy sure looks like plant food to me**_

Eddy: **_He's so stupid impressing her_**

Pokey: **_We know who Nazz would really prefer_**

Eddy: **_You need blood, though it could mean murder_**

Pokey: **_I need blood, though it could mean murder_**

Both: **_I/You need blood, though it could mean murder_**

Pokey: **_Now go git it!_**

****

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Poor Calvin and Hobbes don't have a big role in this one. The Eds are probably the easiest to write for, as you can go as crazy with them as you want, whereas you have to be careful not to go overboard with the others.


	6. Suppertime

The next morning, everyone was outside, getting ready to play baseball. Kevin was near the end of the line when someone threw a rock at him. Eddy.

"You're dead, dork!" yelled Kevin.

Eddy ran inside and hid behind a bench in the lounge area. Kevin burst in, armed with a baseball bat. "Where are you?"

Eddy peeked out. Kevin was getting closer to finding him. He heard Pokey singing in low voice from the locker room.

Pokey: **_He's on your tail now_**

(Eddy: Maybe I shouldn't do this...)

_**Looks like you're being stalked**_

(Eddy: But he'll pound me!)

_**You got no place to hide**_

(Eddy: Still, I can't have killing someone floating over my head!)

_**Can't get out with no talks**_

(Eddy: But what about Nazz?)

_**He'll beat you into slime**_

_**I think it's suppertime**_

_**He's getting pretty close**_

_**You know he'll soon find you**_

_**You don't know where to go**_

_**You don't know what to do**_

_**He's got you now and I'm**_

_**All set for suppertime**_

Kevin spotted Eddy. "There you are! Now I'm gonna pound you!"

"Uh-oh." Eddy ran into the locker room. He hid in a bathroom stall. Kevin came in, ready to beat Eddy into submission.

Pokey: **_Come on, come on_**

_**Think about all those offers**_

_**Come on, come on**_

_**Your future with Nazz-y**_

_**Come on, come on**_

_**Ain't no time to turn squeamish**_

_**Come on, come on **_

_**I swear on all my spores**_

_**When he's gone, the world will be yours**_

Kevin looked around. "Who's singing?" Pokey suddenly sprang out and chomped down on Kevin. In a few seconds, he was swallowed.

Pokey: **_Come on, come on_**

_**It's suppertime**_

Eddy came out of the stall. "Did you just eat him?"

"Sure did. Tasted like an athlete."

Eddy sat down. "Oh boy."

"Hey, don't be all freaked out, man!" cried Pokey. "You've got Nazz to yourself!"

"I guess...but what have I done!"

"You didn't do nothing. It was all me."

Eddy stumbled outside. "Well...one thing to do. Get with Nazz!"

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Later that day, everyone was going to the pool. Eddy is talking to Nazz. "Gee," said Nazz, "I hope Kevin's okay."

"Sure, why wouldn't he be?" Eddy said quickly, wanting to change the subject.

"I haven't seen him anywhere. I'm worried. Maybe I should go look for him again." Nazz headed back to camp.

"Dang it!" hissed Eddy. "She still cares about him! He's gone, but not in her heart!" He started pounding his head against a tree.

Jason watched Eddy from the distance. "First he rips me off, then he has a grudge against nature. What a weirdo."

Eddy stopped. "I've gotta go find Nazz!" He took off towards camp as well.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nazz was walking by the locker room when Pokey started singing again.

Pokey: **_Hey little lady, hello_**

Nazz: Huh?

Pokey: **_You're lookin' cute as can be_**

Nazz: Um...thank you?

Pokey: **_You're lookin' mighty sweet_**

Nazz: Kevin?

Pokey: **_No, it ain't Kevin...it's me!_**

_**That's right, it's just Pokey**_

_**Surprised to see me?**_

Nazz: Well, yes. I didn't know you could, like, talk.

Pokey: **_Kevin was seen around here_**

Nazz: He was?

Pokey: **_He passed by just today_**

Nazz: When?

Pokey: **_Haven't seen him since then_**

_**I guess he went away**_

_**He wasn't worth a dime**_

_**And now it's suppertime!**_

Pokey (who was much bigger by now after eating Kevin) chomped down on Nazz. She was swallowed too. Eddy got there just in time to see her feet disappear.

"You ate her!" cried Eddy.

"Sure did," replied the satisfied plant. "Now I've gotta get going." Laughing, the plant actually sprouted foot-like roots and marched away out the door and down the street. Eddy almost fainted, but instead ran down to the pool.

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"GUYS!" Eddy yelled to his friends (Calvin, Hobbes, Jason, Marcus, Ed, and Edd) who were swimming. "Pokey's talking and he ate Nazz and Kevin and now he's walking around on campus!"

"Oh, curses!" moaned Edd. "It's the unhappy Broadway ending!"

"We have to stop him!" said Marcus.

"HOW?" chorused everyone else

"I don't know, I was just making a suggestion."

"He probably left a trail," reasoned Jason. "Let's follow that and just see what happens."

Ed splashed around happily. "Yay! We're risking our lives!"

"We have to," nodded Edd. "Our friends are in trouble."

"Actually, none of us like Kevin," Eddy pointed out.

"True, but there's Nazz."

"A slimy girl?" complained Calvin.

"NEVER CALL NAZZ THAT!" shouted Edd and Eddy.

"Oh...kay," stared Hobbes. "Let's go."

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Wow. The other main characters FINALLY do something! Who saw that coming?


	7. Flower Shop Duel

By following a trail of leaves and footprints on the road, Calvin, Hobbes, Ed, Edd, Eddy, Jason and Marcus found that it lead to a flower shop. Naturally.

"So here's where that darn plant went!" said Calvin, looking at the bright red rose on the shop's sign.

"We must save Nazz!" said Edd.

Eddy looked nervous. "Yeah, but I'd sorta like to live myself."

"Pickles!" Ed ran inside.

"We've gotta stop him before he's eaten, too!" gasped Jason.

Marcus stared at him. "Who'd want to taste Ed?"

They all walked inside to the entrance room. Everything was calm. A sweet scene was in the air. Flowers were all over the place, and there were even some decorative fountains.

Calvin looked around. "It's quiet...TOO quiet."

Hobbes rolled his eyes. "What you said was cliché...TOO cliché."

As Edd dug through piles of stuffed animals, Eddy checked behind the cash register but found no one. "I bet the guy working here ran away when Pokey came in."

They heard Ed scream. "That came from the back room!" cried Edd.

They all ran in to find a gigantic Pokey throwing Ed against the wall. "I am not a crash test dummy! I am Ed!"

"Leave him alone!" cried Eddy.

The plant turned to the kids with an evil smile. "Well if it ain't my good friends. After those two meals, I decided to take a walk down here and sit a while. You know, relax, spread some seeds..."

"Spread some seeds?" repeated Jason.

"Did I say that out loud?" the plant said innocently.

Marcus did the math. "But spreading seeds in these plants means...all of them growing and eating! We're not talking one hungry plant..."

"We're talking world domination!" finished Eddy.

Pokey pointed his vines at the boy. "And I wanna thank you!"

Edd stepped forward. "You'll never get away with this! Your type never does!"

Pokey: **_Better wait a minute_**

_**Ya better hold the phone**_

_**Ya better mind your manners**_

_**Better change your tone**_

_**Don't you threaten me, son**_

_**You got a lot of gall**_

_**We gonna do things my way**_

_**Or we won't do things at all**_

Pokey sprouted huge roots and several singing buds. He truly was a monster. The kids stared in shock. "Are we going to die?" asked Ed.

"Probably," said Hobbes.

"Cool."

Pokey: **_Ya don't know what you're messin' with_**

_**You got no idea**_

_**Ya don't know what you're lookin' at **_

_**When you're lookin' here**_

_**Ya don't know what you're up against**_

_**No, no way, no how**_

_**You don't know what you're messin' with**_

_**But I'm gonna tell you now! **_

(Buds: **_Aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaah!_**)

_**Get this straight! **_

_**I'm just a mean green mother from outer space **_

_**And I'm bad**_

(Eddy: Outerspace!)

_**I'm just a mean green mother from outer space **_

_**And it looks like you been had**_

_**I'm just a mean green mother from outer space**_

_**So get off my back, 'n get out my face**_

_**'Cause I'm mean and green **_

_**And I am bad**_

The kids ran for it. "I thought being hunted by an alien plant would be more enjoyable!" cried Jason, crouching under the table.

"I hate it when this happens!" agreed Marcus.

Pokey: **_Wanna save your skin boys?_**

_**You wanna save your hide? **_

**_You wanna see tomorrow?_** (Ha-Ha!)

_**You better step aside**_

_**Better take a tip boys**_

_**Want some good advice? **_

_**Ya better take it easy**_

_**'Cause you're walkin' on thin ice**_

(Pokey's buds spread out and chase the kids, chomping at them)

_**Ya don't know what you're dealin' with**_

_**No, you never did**_

_**Ya don't know what you're lookin' at**_

_**But that's how it goes, kids! **_

(Edd hides in a pile of stuffed animals. The vines root through them, nabbing at Edd, who narrowly escapes)

_**The Lion don't sleep tonight**_

_**In fact, he's up and mad**_

_**Ya say, "That ain't fair?" **_

_**Ya say, "That ain't nice?" **_

_**Ya know what I say? "Too bad!" **_

(Buds: **_Aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaah!_**)

_**Watch me now! **_

_**I'm just a mean green mother from outer space **_

_**And I'm bad**_

_**I'm just a mean green mother, a real disgrace**_

_**And you've got me violent and mad**_

_**I'm just a mean green mother from outer space**_

_**Gonna kick your butts! Gonna rock this place! **_

_**I'm mean and green**_

_**And I am bad**_

(His vines finally catch all the kids)

_**You know I don't come from no black lagoon**_

_**I'm from past the stars and beyond the moon**_

_**You can keep the thing**_

_**Keep the it**_

_**Keep them, they don't bug me a bit**_

(They break free and run for it again. Calvin and Hobbes grab some garden tools and start trying to cut up the vines and buds, to no avail)

_**I got garden style, major moves**_

_**I got the stuff, and I think that proves**_

_**You better move it out! Nature calls! **_

_**You just can't escape, I can bust through walls **_

(Buds: **_Aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaah!_**)

(He does indeed bust through a wall and manages to nab Eddy. He sprouts more roots that form feet and chases the others. Needles protrude out of him and he rapidly spins around, shooting them everywhere, narrowing missing the kids)

_**Here it comes!**_

_**I'm just a mean green mother from outer space **_

_**And I'm bad**_

_**I'm just a mean green mother from outer space **_

_**A real hard case. You can't beat this trouble, man**_

_**I'm just a mean green mother from outer space **_

_**So just give it up. It's all over, ace**_

_**I'm mean and green**_

(**_Mean green mother from outer space_**)

_**I'm mean and green**_

(**_Mean green mother from outer space_**)

_**I'm mean and green**_

(**_Mean green mother from outer space_**)

**_And I...am...bad!_**  
Laughing, Pokey lowered Eddy into his mouth. "Bye, bye, Eddy!"

A lightbulb went off over Hobbes's head. "I have an idea! We'll fight plants with plants!"

"What?" chorused the others.

"Trust me!" Hobbes ran out. Pokey was swallowing Eddy when the tiger returned a few seconds later. "Hold it! I just came from the Mushroom Kingdom and I have a Fire Flower!"

Pokey stopped. "What?"

Hobbes blasted Pokey in an eruption of flames. The plant screeched in anguish as it burned. Edd ripped open the burning plant and pulled out Nazz, Kevin, and Eddy. This made it screech more. Everyone watched as the plant shriveled in the flames. Jason and Marcus quickly put out the fire as the plant's screeches faded.

"Were we just eaten by a giant talking plant?" asked Nazz.

"I giant talking alien plant, actually," corrected Jason.

"Freaky," Kevin said quietly. He and Nazz left in confusion.

Eddy sighed. "I really screwed up, didn't I?"

"Indeed you did," nodded Edd. "But the fact that you realized your error is a good thing."

"Way to ruin stuff, Eddy!" cheered Ed.

Edd looked at some spaces in the wall that Pokey's vines had burst through. "Best of all, the damages to the shop aren't that bad, actually."

Calvin hugged his tiger. "That was genius, Hobbes!"

"But what do we do with what's left of Pokey?" wondered Hobbes.

Marcus smiled. "I've got an idea."

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Back at Bowser's castle, Larry was sitting at his table when the remains of Pokey were tossed in the window. "What the heck is this thing? Nothing I want!" Larry threw the it into the trash and went back to working on plants.

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**PSA**

Edd: Everyone, we've had a lot of fun with the ideas of monestrous rampages, but there's still an important lesson to be learned here...

Everyone: Don't feed the plants!

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Now that this is over, I will post a parody of Aladdin.


End file.
